Ava Mae Rozell Thurmond

November 19, 2005-November 28, 2005

Dear Friend—

As you may or may not know, my wife and I were expecting our 5^th child, around the middle of December.  Ava came early, and that’s why I have been out of the office.  I am compelled to share her story with you, so that you will understand the tremendous gifts that she shared with all of us.  As Ava profoundly affected my family, so has she affected my extended family…if you are reading this message, then that includes you.

Ava was born at home on the day of our children’s school crafts fair, November 19. She surprised us by coming 3 ½ weeks early.  Due to an ultrasound at 30 weeks, we knew there was going to be something special about our little girl before she was born and we were forewarned that her time here with us would most probably be brief.  That did not stop us from hoping and praying for a miracle.  In the end, Ava decided what was right, and yes, it was miraculous.

Ava spent 10 beautiful days with us and deeply touched everyone around her.  We will be forever grateful for that time.  Our community has once again held us and supported us in the most incredible ways.  Thanks to all for your love, prayers, meals and help. 

Some could look at our situation and see it as unfortunate, but it is exactly the opposite.  Ava forced us to explore life and death in a much different way.  We have had to face our fears and see the true beauty in both.  We learned how important it is to rejoice in the present moment and forget about the past and future. She taught us to surrender, let go and have faith that all will be well.  This little being shared these incredibly powerful lessons in such a short time.  It is now up to us to make sure we remember them and be thankful everyday for all of our gifts, large and small.

As you reflect on this letter, please keep in mind the words of my brother-in-law, who wrote about his experience with Ava, in the December, 2005 edition of his newsletter, called the Drewsletter.

“I also have this concern that you will write me back with one of those "I'm so sorry" notes. While I fully appreciate that those notes are written from the place of love and caring, they never feel right to me. Death is part of life. There's nothing to be sorry about. I've not been sorry when either of my parents passed. Why should you be?”

                                                                                             Drew Rozell, PhD

I totally agree with Drew.  “Sorry” implies the feelings of sorrow and pity, and I feel neither.  Ava’s 10 days of birth, life and death, were the most difficult, poignant, and beautiful of my life.  I am so grateful that she chose to spend those days with me, and my family.  Please join me in sending Ava thoughts of love, joy & happiness, so that she may bathe in the feelings of gratitude that she desires and deserves.

If I had to honor Ava with one single task, it would be to inspire others to live their lives to the fullest in order to bring forth their own greatness.  I will not settle for less.

With warmth, love and so much gratitude,

Dr. Jeb